Some hot Tillis on Robinson action

A saga of Republican principles.

When Thom Tillis was asked about Mark Robinson’s troubles, the North Carolina Senator put on his big boy britches and gave Robinson an ultimatum: Come clean by Friday or else. Tillis wants us all to know he’s the SERIOUS PERSON in a party full of tinfoil hats, snake oil salesmen, and rubes.

If he was Robinson, he said, he would apply the lessons he learned in his favorite course in college, Logic and Critical Thinking. Tillis recommended Robinson hire a law firm to clear his name and sue CNN when he proved the allegations false. And Tillis worked at IBM, so he knows about digital forensics. Clearly, Tillis is a VERY SERIOUS PERSON who makes smart, savvy, rational decisions.

Now, Tillis didn’t say what would happen if Robinson didn’t explain himself by today, but he did let us know, “I will make a decision myself.” Whoa! He is SERIOUS!

We’ve been watching this show for years. SERIOUS PERSON Thom Tillis often shows up when Republicans are about to do something bad or stupid. He puffs up, issues muscular declarations, and promptly folds like a cheap tent.

Remember when he wrote the op-ed in the Washington Post criticizing Donald Trump’s executive order declaring a national emergency at the border and then voted for the measure? He told a reporter, “It’s never a tough vote for me when I’m standing on principle.” and then voted against the principle. He was a VERY SERIOUS PERSON then, too.

Or how about when Tillis argued that the Senate should pass the immigration, saying it would be “immoral” to vote against the bill? As a VERY SERIOUS PERSON, Tillis said, “You don’t knowingly make this country less safe for political points.” Then he voted against the bill because Donald Trump said it would give Democrats a win and take away a salient political issue for his campaign.

Thom Tillis doesn’t just stand on principles. He stomps them until they are dead.

So, that VERY SERIOUS PERSON is back, showing the GOP how to handle Robinson’s scandal. While other candidates are trying to avoid talking about Nude Africa, Tillis is delivering vague ultimatums that sound tough, just like his op-ed and principled support of the immigration bill he voted against. Just follow his lead. Let reporters and others know about your grave concerns and hint at skepticism about Robinson’s denials.

In lecturing Robinson, the VERY SERIOUS PERSON also doubles down on his support of Donald Trump who is now focused on fleecing his supporters by selling commemorative coins and $100,000 Trump watches. That’s what you call Republican coalition building. The grifter wing of the party is taking advantage of the rube wing and everybody is happy. That is some serious, principled shit.

As for Robinson, I’ve got my own advice. Hang in there, Mark. Don’t let the haters and the RINOs get you down. You’ve learned from Donald Trump and they haven’t. You know that if you just stay the course, all of this mess will go away. Your base will stick with you no matter what because they know the media always lies and you always tell the truth. They don’t need that so-called proof that Thom Tillis is yakking about. The rest of the state will forget all about Nude Africa and your sister-in-law before Election Day.

Just grit it out, because even if you lose, you can run against Thom Tillis in 2026.